Religious Artwork
by ckret2
Summary: Hidan's obsessed with Jashin. Deidara's obsessed with explosions. But they can still share a hobby. Of course, that's bad news for anyone around them. [Oneshot, crackfic.]


A/N: Officially the longest one-shot I've ever written, heh. Anyway, hope you like. This is my crack masterpiece. Well, until I make another one. Remember, if you like, please review! Or even if you don't like. Any help to improve would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

WARNINGS: Hidan's mouth. Also, there's a bunch of subtext for pairings, but only subtext. If you don't like it, you can ignore it. Finally, if I offend anyone who worships evil gods and/or dolphin tails (no, not Iruka's butt), I apologize. All religions in this fic are fictional, and thank Jashin for that.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or its characters. I own this fic and the Holy Church of Ikigami no Ensui.

x

Religious Artwork

x

"Kakuzu," Sasori said, shuffling up to the man. "Have you seen Deidara at all today?"

Kakuzu glanced down at Sasori – he was wearing his usual puppet shell, hunched over – and shrugged. "I haven't been paying attention," he said.

He currently had bigger concerns. The Akatsuki had actually been paid for a mission. A radical terrorist party in Kirigakure had hired them to assassinate the Mizukage. The Leader had been reluctant to accept the mission and risk war with Mist until Kakuzu proposed a very profitable alternative. Fake the murder of the Mizukage, obtain the payment from the radicals, kill the radicals, and earn a reward from the Mizukage. The Leader consented, and had even sent two teams to complete the mission: Kakuzu and Hidan, as well as Sasori and Deidara.

Sasori and Deidara had spent the week before the mission in a village near Kirigakure. Kakuzu and Hidan had checked into their inn only the night before to save money on rooms. Well, Kakuzu had checked in; he refused to spend money on two separate rooms (as Sasori and Deidara had), but Hidan was just as against sharing a room with Kakuzu. Something about his religion forbidding sleeping with someone other than one's lover or some such nonsense. They went through the same ridiculous thing every time they stopped at an inn.

Though now that he thought about it, Kakuzu didn't remember Hidan making a fuss at all last night.

Sasori sighed, and sat on the other side of Kakuzu's the table in the inn's tiny dining room. (One of the things Kakuzu loved about the Land of Water was that so many inns had complementary breakfasts – he was having eggs and ham completely on the house.) "He wasn't in his room this morning," Sasori said. "It's been months since the last time he went off without at least leaving me a note."

Kakuzu nodded absently, adding far too much salt to his eggs. "You mentioned something about it the last time we met," he pointed out. He loosened his mask enough to shovel his eggs under it, and then said, "Didn't Deidara wander off then, too?"

Sasori didn't answer for a moment, and Kakuzu took the opportunity to thoroughly salt his ham and shove a full slice in his mouth. Finally, he said, "I think you're right… That was the last time Deidara left, wasn't it…" He drifted off thoughtfully.

"It's not my fault," Kakuzu said pointedly. He realized he'd drained his cup of water for the fourth time, and got up to refill it. Maybe he was using too much salt.

"I didn't say it was," Sasori said. "The bounty on me is higher than on Deidara anyway. You would go after me first."

Kakuzu froze in place, halfway back to his seat. "Really."

"Don't even think about it," Sasori said. "The price on your head is twice as high as Deidara and me combined. I could cash you in at any nation and my great-grandchildren would still be living off that money."

"I know," Kakuzu said with a sigh. He was still trying to figure out how to take advantage of the fact that he was worth more dead than he'd ever make alive.

Sasori stood. "If you don't know where he is, I'll just check somewhere else," he said. "Where's Hidan? Maybe he knows where Deidara went."

"Haven't seen him," Kakuzu said.

"What?" Sasori said. "Him, too?"

"Hey, he wanders off like this all the time," Kakuzu said. He added an extra layer of salt to his eggs before taking another bite.

"Still, maybe there's a connection," Sasori mused, and headed for the door. "I'll let you know if I find either of them."

Before he left, though, he turned to Kakuzu and said, "You know, your eggs are completely white. If you aren't more careful with the salt you're going to have a heart attack."

"The weakest one, yeah," Kakuzu agreed. "I've been meaning to replace one for a while. Let's see which heart goes first."

Kakuzu had to grudgingly admit to himself that he was a little impressed at how well Sasori could make a wooden body roll its eyes.

"When they all go at the same time, don't run to me for help. You would make a wonderful puppet."

x

"All right, the target is in sight," Deidara said, his scope focused on a structure at the base of the cliff he was standing on. "It is currently somewhere around 7:30 in the morning, way earlier than any sane human should get up, un. We have an hour and a half to prepare. Now, equipment check!"

Sitting behind Deidara, Hidan opened a canvas bag. "Ready when you are."

"Do we have the telescopes, un?" Deidara asked.

"Check. Both of them," Hidan said.

"Good." Deidara nodded. "We probably won't need them, but it's best to be prepared, un. Fuses?"

"Check. Five boxes."

"Pyrotechnic stars?"

"Check."

"Ones made with strontium carbonate, calcium chloride, cryolite, barium nitrate, copper oxide, rubidium compounds, and antimony sulfide?"

"Uh… could you repeat that?"

Deidara heaved a sigh, crouched in front of the canvas bag, and stuck a hand into the containers of pyrotechnic stars. "It tastes like they're all here, un. Check." He stood and turned back to the cliff to look at the structure beneath them again.

Hidan sifted through the bag himself. "And we've got exploding tags, prayer beads, the ritualistic dagger, goggles, and a change of clothes."

"I've got all the clay we'll need," Deidara said. "Do you want a picture? I brought a camera this time, un."

"Nah, that's fine," Hidan said. "Seriously, the pictures I got last time were shit. I'll just do it your way this time."

Deidara smiled proudly. "Do it for the moment?"

"For the moment, yeah. And for Jashin-sama."

"Of course, un." Deidara reached into his pouches for his pocket watch, checked it, and said, "It's 7:36. We need to be ready by 8:50, right?"

"Right. The bastards have their little ritual at nine, so we should be out by then," Hidan said.

He heaved the canvas bag onto the shoulder opposite his scythe, and Deidara stuck his watch back in its pouch. "Let's go, un," Deidara said, and the two ran down the cliff.

x

Hidan and Deidara sneered at the building before them.

"This is damn blasphemy," Hidan said. "Look at it!"

"The design is completely behind the times, un," Deidara added. "It's tacky."

"It's an insult to organized religion."

"It's a revolting pile of construction material."

"These bastards would be lucky if Jashin-sama smote them."

"These morons wouldn't know good taste if it blew up their legs."

"Heathen shit."

"Artless trash."

Their ritualistic mocking completed, Hidan and Deidara grinned at each other and got to work.

"What's this thing called again, un?"

"Holy Church of Ikigami no Ensui," Hidan said. "The Living Salt Water God." He stuck out his tongue and made a gagging sound, and for a moment Deidara thought saying the words actually had made Hidan sick.

Deidara studied the church. It was tall, square, white, and covered with arching, abstract stained-glass windows. Off-center and sticking out of the roof was an ugly blue, stylized statue of a dolphin, three times as tall as he was. Taking in the boxy building and the statue together, the church looked like a juice box with a lumpy straw sticking out of the top. "I like the windows," Deidara commented. "They'll shatter nicely."

"What do they mean?" Hidan asked, waving a hand angrily at the stained glass. "It's a bunch of goddamn shards stuck together, that's all!"

"And that's how it'll end, un," Deidara said. "Now let's go in."

They found a side door and broke into it. It lead to a corridor, with pristine yellow walls and a royal, deep-orange carpet that, as Deidara pointed out, clashed horribly with each other and wouldn't look good by themselves, either.

They passed a tapestry of a serene-looking man in robes with a wave design, probably the very Ikigami no Ensui this church was dedicated to. Hidan spat a nasty yellow gob on the tapestry and said, "What the hell is this thing, anyway?"

Deidara spared it a glance and smirked. "It looks a lot better now, un."

Hidan laughed. "It'll look even better on fire, seriously."

"You should have been an artist," Deidara said. They had reached the end of the corridor, and Deidara turned the doorknob on a heavy oak door that lead into the nave. It tasted like fish. He curled his nose. Why didn't anybody wash their hands before opening doors?

"You shoulda joined the Church of Jashin. Seriously, we could use someone like you," Hidan said, and then glanced up as they entered the nave.

Except for the stained-glass windows, it was just as white as the outside, with designs on the wall depicting those stupid stylized dolphins again. The wooden benches were in neat little rows, the pulpit was an unimpressive brick sitting in the grand church, and above the pulpit was the most horrific sight Deidara had seen in his life.

Now it was clear why the dolphin had been placed so horribly off-center on the roof. That didn't excuse the sin against art, but at least it had been justified. And in the justification, it had only been made worse.

Hanging down from the roof and curving grandly above the pulpit and towards the benches, a grand decoration of stone glory, was the bottom half of the blue dolphin.

A giant blue fish tail was dangling above the nave.

"Deidara, did you hear me?" Hidan asked. He glanced at Deidara's hands to check; yes, all three of his mouths were gaping in horror. "Deidara!"

"What?" Deidara snapped his gaze away from the hideous tail. "Oh. Were you trying to convert me again, un?"

Hidan shrugged. "Can you blame me? I mean, if anyone's soul should be saved, it'd be yours. Shit, you're almost eligible for sainthood already, with everything you've blown up."

"I appreciate it," Deidara said, already moving through the nave, checking out the structure and the supports of the building. "But I'm still agnostic, un."

"Yeah, I know," Hidan said, sighing, and following Deidara's lead. There were some weird column things around the pulpit that looked like they were supporting something pretty important. He glanced up to see what it was. "Wait, didn't you say you were—"

Hidan fell silent for a moment. "What the hell?!"

"It's terrible, I know," Deidara said. He started pasting exploding tags he'd taken from Hidan's bag around the bottoms of the stained-glass windows; that way, when they blew, they'd blow upwards.

"They have a fish ass in their church! The stupid bastards!"

Deidara had to laugh. "We'll just have to fix that, un."

"Seriously. I can't believe it…" Grumbling obscenities under his breath, he started pasting exploding tags to the base of the columns supporting the tail.

"Leave the actual tail alone, un," Deidara said. "I've got special plans for it."

"They'd better be good."

"They are." Deidara lobbed a pouch of exploding clay at Hidan. "Go ahead and design the ceiling, un. I'm going to set up the explosives."

"Fine." Summoning a bit of chakra to his feet, Hidan walked up the walls and onto the ceiling of the nave. He started pulling out clay and sticking it on the surface, grimacing at the dolphin designs, in worship of Ikigami no Ensui. They'd only been in here fifteen minutes and Hidan felt as impure as if a heathen had humped his leg. He'd have to do some serious praying after this.

They worked for nearly an hour more, and just barely escaped the way they'd entered when the happy families that followed the faith of Ikigami no Ensui started coming in for the weekly church service.

x

Hidan and Deidara waited calmly for the service to start, sitting with their legs dangling over the edge of the cliff. Hidan, wearing goggles, was holding his prayer beads as he murmured. Deidara was listening, amused, holding a string of beads of his own limply in one hand. Hidan had insisted, infidel though Deidara was, that he join in on the prayer.

"And I beg that you, Jashin-sama, forgive me if I unintentionally committed any sins while I was in that blasphemous place," Hidan said. "I vow to offer fifteen sacrifices to your name to make up for anything I've done."

"Wouldn't you do those sacrifices anyway, un?" Deidara whispered.

"That's what I love about Jashin-sama. Now quiet!" Hidan whispered, then spoke again. "I ask that you accept the souls we offer to you, and that you judge them properly, and take the forgivable ones by your side. The rest, you can damn to hell."

Deidara snorted.

"Deidara, would you like to add anything?" Hidan asked pointedly.

"Yeah. Your prayer beads taste like metal, un," Deidara said, licking them with his hand. "That's blood, right?"

Hidan scowled. "Jashin-sama, give me the strength to lead Deidara to the truth before he dies like the goddamn heathen he is. Thank you."

"Finally, un," Deidara said, standing up and stretching. "We've only got a minute until the show starts. I set the fuses to blow at 9:02, un. You ready?"

"Definitely," Hidan said.

They shared an excited grin, and then shut their eyes as they formed hand seals. Within a few seconds, their astral projections appeared inside the Holy Church of Ikigami no Ensui.

x

Father Saishi stood behind the pulpit, waiting peacefully as the worshippers filed into the nave and took their seats. A few children waved at him, and he waved back. He had such a wonderful job, he thought, getting to help so many people every day and filling their souls with hope and faith.

Saishi waited until the worshippers were seated and quiet. "Ikigami-sama thanks you and blesses you for coming here in his name," he said evenly. "Now, let us pray. The sea can hear us."

The worshippers bowed their heads as one and grew still.

But not for long.

An explosion burst above the nave, followed shortly by a second one. Chunks of the ceiling fell down, and in a panic the worshippers dove out of their seats, shoving each other to get near the walls. Several pulled at the doors to find they were locked.

Breathing a frightened prayer, Saishi looked at the roof. His eyes widened in fear, and the prayer died on his lips.

Blown into the roof was the sign of the Evil God, a triangle inscribed within a circle. The Cult of Jashin. Saishi thought they had died years ago.

"'The sea can hear us'? What the hell are you, a bunch of goddamn fairies?"

Several of the older members gasped at the language, and the entire mass of worshippers turned to look at the source of the voice. Saishi whirled around and looked almost straight up. Standing on the fins of the blue dolphin was a man in black with red clouds. He held a tri-blade scythe in one hand and a string of blood-red prayer beads in the other.

"Seriously, that's a load of shit," the man said. "I'll be doing you heathens a favor by killing you."

The worshippers gasped and began speaking to each other in terrified whispers.

"Shut up!" the man shouted. They did.

"Who are you? What do you think you're doing here?" Saishi asked, his old voice trembling.

"I'm a child of Jashin-sama," he said, sneering, giving Saishi a mocking bow. "And I think I'm about to blow you dumbasses to Kingdom Come."

"But why?" Saishi asked. "It's been years since the Jashin cultists have bothered us."

"Cultists?" the man demanded. "Where the hell have you been, you old fart? Cults are tiny. Cults are dedicated to one insane son of a bitch that pretends to be a prophet. The Church of Jashin is over five hundred years old, and we are not a cult. We are the only ones that get the fucking truth!"

While the congregation stared at their invader in horror, Saishi's eyes softened with pity. "How could someone so young be so misguided? " he asked softly.

The man snorted. "You're beyond salvation," he said. As Saishi watched, his skin darkened to black, and white patterns stood out, like a living skeleton. "I usually spare monks and stuff like that, but anyone who worships a fish ass is nothing but a heathen! Go to hell!"

He lifted his scythe and drove it into his own stomach. And yet he stood, grinning euphorically, as Saishi's eyes widened and he gasped and fell and died.

x

Deidara checked his pocket watch. They had less than half a minute. He blew up the clay he had used to seal the nave's doors and marched in. "Hey! You're not going to have time to convert anyone, un. The show's about to start."

"Damn it! How much time do we…"

Hidan was interrupted when the roof collapsed; first along the triangle he had blown into the ceiling, and then the remainder of the circle. The worshippers screamed in terror; a few that weren't next to the wall were crushed, and their blood stained the white walls of the church.

"… do we have?" Hidan finished.

"About five seconds, un," Deidara said.

The first thing to blow up was the pulpit in a shower of blue fire. And then the ground was alive with sparks and explosions, coming from every inch of the floor; it was as if the fires of hell were reaching up with sparks and flames of gold and green. The worshippers were caught in the explosions, either catching fire or ceasing to exist with a spray of deep red.

Hidan stared, enraptured, as if he were watching Jashin's Day of Judgment. Countless heathens, devoured by the fires of hell even within their own so-called sanctuary, screaming for mercy from a god that did not care. It was ecstasy.

Deidara watched the show from the ground, as fountains of light erupted in every color imaginable, burning after-images on his wide eyes that wouldn't go away for a long time. He could ignore everything but this one moment of radiance, of destruction, of art for art's own sake. It was the perfect fleeting instant of beauty.

Then the explosions started to die down and were replaced by a dull rumble, and Deidara snapped out of his trance. "Hidan, un! We've got to go!"

"Right," Hidan said. Their two astral projections dissolved, leaving the worshippers to suffer alone.

x

When Hidan and Deidara opened their eyes on the cliff, they could still hear the deep rumbling from the church. They sat on the cliff edge together again, bending forward to watch.

"Here it comes, un," Deidara whispered.

They froze in silent anticipation.

In the church below, the exploding tags counted down to zero, and the fuses on Deidara's explosives finally reached the ends.

The stained glass windows exploded upward, in a fountain of light and glass and shrill noise. The church soon followed, erupting like a volcano and shooting off firecrackers in every direction. One zoomed between Deidara and Hidan, and they almost fell off the cliff as they scrambled out of the way. It exploded less than ten feet from them into a violet orb.

"Keep watching!" Deidara commanded. The best was yet to come.

From out of the fireball of the inferno, something rose upward. Hidan gaped at it. "Is that…"

"Yeah."

A web of exploding clay and a hundred tiny wings supported the dolphin statue, badly cracked but still intact, as it was lifted into the sky. Hidan cackled. "You're amazing, Deidara! Now what?"

"Now you give the signal, un," Deidara said, smirking at Hidan.

He raised an eyebrow at Deidara, but pulled out his prayer beads. "Jashin-sama, we destroy this shitty blue rock in your name. We ask that you condemn it to the depths of hell, where none but the worst of sinners will ever have to see it again. Thank you."

"Amen," Deidara murmured, and with a sign detonated the exploding clay.

The dolphin imploded with a rumble like thunder, and out from its body flew the last and brightest of Deidara's fireworks. There was silence for a moment, and then, with a sonic boom, the fireworks exploded into the sign of an inverted triangle within a circle.

Deidara and Hidan leaped up, cheering and clapping. "For the glory of Jashin-sama!" Hidan shouted.

"For the beauty of true art, un!"

They were still cheering and grabbing each other's shoulders and jumping up and down like idiots a few minutes later, until they high-fived and Deidara bit his tongue.

x

The church had been completely leveled. There was nothing left but a few smoldering fires and the smell of gunpowder, clay, and burned flesh. It was better than that tuna smell, at least.

Deidara and Hidan were strolling through the rubble, enjoying the fruits of their labor. "What time is it?" Hidan asked.

"A little past 10, un," Deidara said, checking his watch. He glanced down, and grinned. "Is that familiar?"

It was the singed remains of the tapestry Hidan had spit on. He chuckled, picking it up. "Maybe I can use it to clean my weapons," he said, shoving it in the much lighter canvas bag.

Deidara noticed as he put his watch away that he was smearing soot all over it. In fact, they were both completely coated with dust and ash. "We need to clean up before we go back, un," Deidara pointed out.

"Seriously," Hidan agreed, shaking his cloak. Black soot billowed out from it. "Good thing we brought a change of clothes."

"Let's find a river to wash off in," Deidara said.

They had agreed a long time ago not to discuss their hobby with their partners. Sasori already didn't approve of Deidara's style of art, and would definitely not approve of such wanton destruction of fine architecture – not that the Holy Church of Ikigami no Ensui was what Deidara would refer to as "fine." As for Hidan, Kakuzu already hated all the rituals that came along with his religion, and he'd never stand for anything optional like the destruction of rival churches. Besides, it was much more fun as a secret.

"Hey, Deidara," Hidan said as they searched for a river. "You said earlier that you're agnostic, right?"

"Yeah. Why?" Deidara asked.

"Didn't you say you were atheist the last time we did this?"

Deidara scowled at Hidan. "That's right, un. And I still would be if you'd just shut up!"

Hidan stared at Deidara in shocked silence for a moment. The moment ended, and he slung an arm over Deidara's shoulder, cheering victoriously. "Hell yeah! By Jashin-sama, I'll make a believer out of you yet!"

"No you won't!" Deidara shouted, shoving Hidan off. "I'm no masochist, un!"

"Do you seriously think I'll buy that shit?" Hidan asked. "How do you see yourself dying? Are you going to go at eighty years old in your sleep?"

"Never," Deidara said before he stopped to think.

"If course not. You, Deidara, are going to die in a big-ass fireball, and you're going to enjoy it to the last second. And Jashin-sama will love you for it."

"Go to hell, un."

"Never."

Deidara laughed. "Fine, let's make a deal. I'll convert to the Church of Jashin the day you strap a hundred exploding tags to your body and blow up for good, un."

"It's a deal."

x

Even Kakuzu was starting to get worried when noon passed and Hidan hadn't shown up. So he wasn't surprised when Sasori came into his room at the inn and said, "We need to look for them."

"Where do we start?" Kakuzu asked, grabbing his coat off its hook in the closet with a tentacle and putting it on.

"This is a fairly small village," Sasori said. "We can search it first, and if they aren't here we should head to Kirigakure. Maybe they went on without us. Or someone might have recognized them as missing-nin and arrested them."

Kakuzu growled a curse. "If Kirigakure is strong enough to take Hidan and Deidara down, it's going to be pretty damn expensive to get them out."

"Well, what choice do we have?" Sasori asked.

"Hello, Sasori! Did you miss me, un?"

Kakuzu and Sasori stared as Deidara and Hidan walked up, grinning like they knew something the other two didn't and were absolutely thrilled about it.

"Deidara! Where have you been?" Sasori asked.

"And you, too," Kakuzu said, glaring at Hidan.

"We ran into each other last night and had some catching up to do," Hidan said, returning the glare. "Why the hell do you care, anyway?"

"We've been worried about you," Sasori said, ignoring the disapproving "hmph" from Kakuzu. He fixed his gaze on Deidara. "You were with Hidan all night long?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess," Deidara said awkwardly.

"Doing what?"

Deidara and Hidan looked helplessly at each other. "Just stuff, un."

"Yeah. Random shit," Hidan added.

"Why is your hair wet?" Sasori demanded.

"Um…" They exchanged another clueless glance. "Hot springs?" Hidan offered lamely.

Sasori was about to question him further, but Kakuzu let out a wail of anguish. "A hot springs! Do you have any idea how expensive that is? How much money did you spend? Show me your wallet." Kakuzu kept strict records of how much money he and Hidan spent.

"I paid," Deidara added quickly.

"You're still spending money out of the Akatsuki's treasury," Kakuzu grumbled, but calmed down.

Sasori still wasn't satisfied. "What happened to your shirt?" he asked. "And your hand?"

Deidara's right hand was bandaged across the palm and his shirt was simply missing. "A certain someone forgot to pack spare shirts, un," Deidara said pointedly.

"Sorry," Hidan muttered.

"What about your hand?"

"That same someone made me bite my tongue," Deidara said. "I've gotta keep the jaw bandaged shut so I don't bite it again before it heals, un."

"Damn it, I said sorry!" Hidan said.

"Huh. That was a major mood-killer, too," Deidara said.

"Seriously. I didn't know you could swear like that," Hidan said.

"You're one to talk, un."

Kakuzu cleared his throat awkwardly. "So. Does anyone want lunch? I saw a nice ramen shop down the street." He had coupons.

"No thanks, we had brunch, un," Deidara said, and yawned. "Actually, we probably need to get some sleep. Go ahead without us." He walked past Sasori and Kakuzu and headed for his room.

Hidan started to follow, then stopped. "Shit, I don't have a room," he said.

"You can use mine, un. There's a fold-out sofa."

"Thanks," Hidan said, quickly catching up. "You know, you seriously could make the sainthood if you converted."

"I said shut up about that, un!"

Kakuzu and Sasori stared at each other when the door to Deidara's room shut.

"Hidan's religion doesn't let him sleep in a room with someone other than his lover," Kakuzu said quickly. "Not even in separate beds."

"I've never heard of Deidara dating anyone – girl or boy," Sasori said. "I have no idea which one he prefers."

"They were out all night with each other!"

"And they came back from a hot springs!"

"Wet!"

"And shirtless."

"I don't think Hidan's religion has anything against gay relationships…"

"A disproportionate amount of artists are homosexual…"

Kakuzu and Sasori stared at each other, and then chuckled awkwardly.

"Maybe we should…" Kakuzu started.

"They need privacy…" Sasori added.

"Lunch?"

"I can't eat."

"Good. It'll cost less," Kakuzu said. "Let's go."

Sasori gave Deidara's door a nervous look. "Let's."

x

In Deidara's room, neither he nor Hidan had any plans on sleeping. They were celebrating – Deidara by mixing a new batch of exploding clay, and Hidan by impaling himself over the tiles in the bathroom.

Hidan had finished his prayers, and was now lying out on the tile with the pike in his chest until the hour his ritual took was up. Deidara was sitting outside the bathroom with the door open a crack, mixing the clay in a bowl with his uninjured left hand. "I think that was our best one yet, un," Deidara said.

"Hell yeah," Hidan agreed, his voice a little thick from blood. "When's the next time we can do this?"

"Don't know, un. Maybe after this mission?"

"Shit, that's right, we're teaming up on it, aren't we? Halleluiah!"

Deidara grinned, and the grin widened as he remembered something else. "Hey, Hidan."

"Yeah?"

"Did you notice how Kakuzu and Sasori were looking at each other when we walked up?"

"No."

"They were really close, un. Like, no personal space close," Deidara said. "Like intimate close. Do you know what I mean?"

"Are you serious?" Hidan said.

"I'm an artist, un. I have an eye for these things," Deidara said.

"Damn, you're right," Hidan said. "Hey! And did you notice when Kakuzu said we should go to a 'nice' ramen shop?"

"Yeah."

"To him, 'nice' means 'seriously overpriced shit.' The cheap bastard would never go to a 'nice' restaurant without a good reason."

"Like trying to impress someone?" Deidara said, smirking.

"Exactly! Do you think…"

"It's possible," Deidara said. "I've always kinda suspected it about Sasori."

"Yeah, and I don't think Kakuzu's ever got some. Not while I've been his partner, at least." He laughed. "Maybe we should leave them alone a while?"

"Good idea," Deidara said. "They'll probably appreciate it, un."

x

End.


End file.
